Today was Rosie's memorial service. I was struck, as often happens at memorials, with some insight for living. People are not what you see for the most part. I've always regarded Rosie as a frail lady who on occasion needed help. A ride to the hospital, some help cleaning house, the fireplace fixed, some fire wood. But today Bob Diekes got up and shared at length about how Rosie, herself, was out helping the homeless. Also, I've always thought of Rosie as, well not much of a reader or prone to study. Turns out she has for years been reading and studying her bible. She had such a passion for understanding God's word, that she was working on scripture memory verses just shortly before she died. Bob also shared how she had written a paper on discipleship, and how she took seriously her ministry of intercessory prayer. Cliff Wools told of how Rosie attended church and bible study faithfully even when she had to manage oxygen tanks and a wheel chair, and once even an IV.
If this is but a glimpse of who Rosie was before the Lord, how differently she must have appeared to Him than to me. I've been fooled by this frail frame, and never knew of the spiritual warrior's physique she actually sported in the eyes of the only one who really sees us for who we are.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Unclothed, Penniless Perfection
Lately I've been really enjoying a commentary of sorts on Ecclesiastes by Charles Swindol called, "Living on the Ragged Edge." Being so intensely unhappy at work these last two years has really sent me searching for the source of joy in life. Through this study in Ecclesiastes I've been following along with Solomon in discovering where joy is not found, namely, "under the sun." I feel that on a smaller scale I've looked into all the same obvious places as the ancient king, sexuality, wealth, wisdom, accomplishment, alcohol. I discovered the joylessness of each and how that in itself has driven me back to God, again, just like the ancient king.
I think I've come to two conclusions.
First, enjoyment of things in this life is a gift of God. He enables men to enjoy this life or not. According to Solomon, and the biographies of thousands who follow after him, a man can have everything or nothing and experience the same joyless despair in life that prompts one to ask, "Why was I ever born?" Yet you can have nothing, or presumably, everything and be happy. The difference is whether God has granted you the privilege of finding happiness in your circumstances. Apparently, life for every man whether ancient, modern, or post-modern, proceeds on a similar path that ultimately leads each one of us toward the same end. Men of every generation are providentially directed toward the discovery of the goodness and sovereignty of God. Along the way many, or perhaps most, are turned aside by their own foolish unbelief. God decides whether and how much of what pleasures there are under the sun each of us is going to truly enjoy. Thus the enjoyment of life's pleasures is a gift of God and one of His many means of drawing us all to Himself.
What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that here is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. that everyone may eat and drink and find satisfaction i all his toil– this is the gift of God.
Ecclesiastes 3:9-13
Again, I'm extremely unhappy at work. God has used this to bring home some very profound lessons. I'm glad. I'm also grateful for the happiness He's granted me in family life at this same time. If it were not for the great enjoyment I have of my wife, son and grandson I think I would have gone nuts with depression. So here's how I'm praying these days.
"Lord, thank you for your providence and wisdom. Please restore to me the joy of my work. Please make the day of my retirement something I shed tears about, not because it is a final release from a long painful incarceration, but because of the joy it has been to be a teacher, and because of the refining work you done in me through the experience. So, if you can, make it so that my work stands out from those who do not honor you. If you can, bless me with fruitfulness while by grace I do good and in so doing show yourself strong on behalf of those who honor you. And in the process, grant me joy in my work. Yet, not my will but thine be done. I would not swap one gram of growth in grace for any amount of simple earthy happiness. I trust you, O God.."
The second conclusion is simple and obvious to all who know the Lord by faith. It is the lesson of Hebrews 11. God does not promise to straighten everything out before the end of this life. Many injustices remain uncorrected, and many promises of blessing remain unfulfilled on the day of each saint's death.
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted they were aliens and strangers on earth.
Hebrews 11:13
In the end, a man is but a bit of dust and water endowed with life from God. By faith I acknowledge that about myself and will not presume to advise God on how or when to act. By faith I know that only He is truly good, and truly wise. In His goodness He has called me to himself and endowed me with a capacity to enjoy him. All the happiness he has given me under the sun are meant to point my heart to Him.
One day I will have no need of happiness from my labor. I will have no way to measure my fruitfulness and no need to derive pleasure from it. I'll have no wealth to hoard or earn. I'll have only one set of clothes, a white robe with no pockets for money or personal effects and no shoes at all. I'll have no address or property to concern myself with or preen over, no vehicles to maintain nor to use to reflect my status. I'll have no status. No family to either take pride in or worry about. Whatever unresolved issues remained at the time of my death will be lost from my consciousness like mere dreams. I'll be in the presence of the author of justice and His glory will completely occupy my soul. Presumably my life will be consumed in worship alone. Whatever there is in the City of God for me to do, it will be done purely as an act of worship.
I think I've come to two conclusions.
First, enjoyment of things in this life is a gift of God. He enables men to enjoy this life or not. According to Solomon, and the biographies of thousands who follow after him, a man can have everything or nothing and experience the same joyless despair in life that prompts one to ask, "Why was I ever born?" Yet you can have nothing, or presumably, everything and be happy. The difference is whether God has granted you the privilege of finding happiness in your circumstances. Apparently, life for every man whether ancient, modern, or post-modern, proceeds on a similar path that ultimately leads each one of us toward the same end. Men of every generation are providentially directed toward the discovery of the goodness and sovereignty of God. Along the way many, or perhaps most, are turned aside by their own foolish unbelief. God decides whether and how much of what pleasures there are under the sun each of us is going to truly enjoy. Thus the enjoyment of life's pleasures is a gift of God and one of His many means of drawing us all to Himself.
What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that here is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. that everyone may eat and drink and find satisfaction i all his toil– this is the gift of God.
Ecclesiastes 3:9-13
Again, I'm extremely unhappy at work. God has used this to bring home some very profound lessons. I'm glad. I'm also grateful for the happiness He's granted me in family life at this same time. If it were not for the great enjoyment I have of my wife, son and grandson I think I would have gone nuts with depression. So here's how I'm praying these days.
"Lord, thank you for your providence and wisdom. Please restore to me the joy of my work. Please make the day of my retirement something I shed tears about, not because it is a final release from a long painful incarceration, but because of the joy it has been to be a teacher, and because of the refining work you done in me through the experience. So, if you can, make it so that my work stands out from those who do not honor you. If you can, bless me with fruitfulness while by grace I do good and in so doing show yourself strong on behalf of those who honor you. And in the process, grant me joy in my work. Yet, not my will but thine be done. I would not swap one gram of growth in grace for any amount of simple earthy happiness. I trust you, O God.."
The second conclusion is simple and obvious to all who know the Lord by faith. It is the lesson of Hebrews 11. God does not promise to straighten everything out before the end of this life. Many injustices remain uncorrected, and many promises of blessing remain unfulfilled on the day of each saint's death.
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted they were aliens and strangers on earth.
Hebrews 11:13
In the end, a man is but a bit of dust and water endowed with life from God. By faith I acknowledge that about myself and will not presume to advise God on how or when to act. By faith I know that only He is truly good, and truly wise. In His goodness He has called me to himself and endowed me with a capacity to enjoy him. All the happiness he has given me under the sun are meant to point my heart to Him.
One day I will have no need of happiness from my labor. I will have no way to measure my fruitfulness and no need to derive pleasure from it. I'll have no wealth to hoard or earn. I'll have only one set of clothes, a white robe with no pockets for money or personal effects and no shoes at all. I'll have no address or property to concern myself with or preen over, no vehicles to maintain nor to use to reflect my status. I'll have no status. No family to either take pride in or worry about. Whatever unresolved issues remained at the time of my death will be lost from my consciousness like mere dreams. I'll be in the presence of the author of justice and His glory will completely occupy my soul. Presumably my life will be consumed in worship alone. Whatever there is in the City of God for me to do, it will be done purely as an act of worship.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Prayer of Psalm 37
Last school year was somewhat tough, as it seems they all are of late. This school year is even tougher in many respects. I don't recall being so unhappy at work in my entire life. Toward the end of last year I remember praying that the Lord would fulfill the promises in Psalm 37 on my behalf. The theme of David's psalm is that though evil men oppose the righteous, God is going to champion the cause of the righteous if they will wait patiently for Him.
Here is a portion of that Psalm:
Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath' do not fret– it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.
A number of insights come to mind:
First, I do not know who is evil, or which schemes of men are wicked. It is not my place to judge that. Therefore, I can only trust the fate of others to the all-knowing God who does rightly judge good and evil. I have not prayed that the Lord would smite some particular person at work, nor turn their plans to mush. In fact, though I admit I've not been very faithful about it, I recall the instruction in the Sermon on the Mount that I should pray for my enemies, and for those who spitefully use me. Seems clear that I am to keep my attitude toward my co-workers in check and leave them to God.
Second, while I wait patiently on God to champion my cause, I am to "do good." Negativity, undermining talk, spiteful commentary and the like are not to be my way. Neither is self-pity and mock-martyrdom to be my attitude. I am to "do good." I've been given a job that I actually can do. While results do not completely predicate on my efforts, I do know how to do my job reasonably well, and that is what I am to do.
Finally, God has repeatedly made it clear throughout the psalm that He will protect the interests of the righteous and frustrate the cause of the wicked. There are hints in the psalm that David knew God would not wrap things up completely in this lifetime.
"Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked for the power of the wicked will be broken." vs. 16.
However, it is abundantly clear that the righteous will see their reward. They will inherit the land, and enjoy plenty while the wicked wither and disappear.
So it is that I prayed, and am praying again this year as well, that the Lord would somehow make the justice of my cause like the noonday sun. And in a limited sort of way that prayer was answered. This year in our annual department meeting in which we review the test scores of our students from the previous year the test scores of the students in all my classes were higher that those of all the other teachers in nearly every strand. The other teachers, some of whom have been hurtful, undermining schemers as it relates to my interests were made to look at those results and ask how it was that I accomplished them. I still got demoted, in a sense, and no one to date has acknowledged that they were wrong to banish me to the lower grades. However, I took heart from the scene for the simple reason that I saw God answer my prayer.
I bring this up now, several months after the meeting, because again today I was encouraged by what God did on my behalf. Over the past few months as I have struggled to teach classes and students I don't particularly feel suited for, I have seen the wisdom of God's providence even in this. A number of factors have worked out well for me this year and I have been forced to face my own need to repent. I'm not sure when or if God will choose to restore my former status. And I've repeatedly expressed in my prayers that I do not what anything that He wouldn't choose for me. I'm willing to stay or move or whatever He wants. When I look back at what He did for me, I'm all the more inclined to trust his loving wisdom for the present and the future.
Here is a portion of that Psalm:
Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath' do not fret– it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.
A number of insights come to mind:
First, I do not know who is evil, or which schemes of men are wicked. It is not my place to judge that. Therefore, I can only trust the fate of others to the all-knowing God who does rightly judge good and evil. I have not prayed that the Lord would smite some particular person at work, nor turn their plans to mush. In fact, though I admit I've not been very faithful about it, I recall the instruction in the Sermon on the Mount that I should pray for my enemies, and for those who spitefully use me. Seems clear that I am to keep my attitude toward my co-workers in check and leave them to God.
Second, while I wait patiently on God to champion my cause, I am to "do good." Negativity, undermining talk, spiteful commentary and the like are not to be my way. Neither is self-pity and mock-martyrdom to be my attitude. I am to "do good." I've been given a job that I actually can do. While results do not completely predicate on my efforts, I do know how to do my job reasonably well, and that is what I am to do.
Finally, God has repeatedly made it clear throughout the psalm that He will protect the interests of the righteous and frustrate the cause of the wicked. There are hints in the psalm that David knew God would not wrap things up completely in this lifetime.
"Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked for the power of the wicked will be broken." vs. 16.
However, it is abundantly clear that the righteous will see their reward. They will inherit the land, and enjoy plenty while the wicked wither and disappear.
So it is that I prayed, and am praying again this year as well, that the Lord would somehow make the justice of my cause like the noonday sun. And in a limited sort of way that prayer was answered. This year in our annual department meeting in which we review the test scores of our students from the previous year the test scores of the students in all my classes were higher that those of all the other teachers in nearly every strand. The other teachers, some of whom have been hurtful, undermining schemers as it relates to my interests were made to look at those results and ask how it was that I accomplished them. I still got demoted, in a sense, and no one to date has acknowledged that they were wrong to banish me to the lower grades. However, I took heart from the scene for the simple reason that I saw God answer my prayer.
I bring this up now, several months after the meeting, because again today I was encouraged by what God did on my behalf. Over the past few months as I have struggled to teach classes and students I don't particularly feel suited for, I have seen the wisdom of God's providence even in this. A number of factors have worked out well for me this year and I have been forced to face my own need to repent. I'm not sure when or if God will choose to restore my former status. And I've repeatedly expressed in my prayers that I do not what anything that He wouldn't choose for me. I'm willing to stay or move or whatever He wants. When I look back at what He did for me, I'm all the more inclined to trust his loving wisdom for the present and the future.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Power of Kindness
There's got to be a connection between God's omnipotence and His inexhaustible lovingkindness. The power of the living God is unquestionably unlimited. Yet, is it His raw power, His unimpeachable sovereignty that gives Him power over us? Perhaps there is no escaping that, but from an experienceal point of view, His loving nature, not His irresistible providence is the source of His influence.
"It's you kindness that leads us to repentance O Lord."
If I gauge my desire to please God by how motivated I am to slam the door on temptation, then one single act of kindness to me from God far outweighs any other source of inspiration. We all struggle with sin. The more distant I feel from a living active relationship with God, the more prone I am to adopt a "why-not" attitude when tempted. Acts of kindness from God draw me toward Him. I am filled with gratefulness and hope. When temptation presents itself in at such a time, I am far less inclined to jeopardize the bliss of peace with God.
"It's you kindness that leads us to repentance O Lord."
If I gauge my desire to please God by how motivated I am to slam the door on temptation, then one single act of kindness to me from God far outweighs any other source of inspiration. We all struggle with sin. The more distant I feel from a living active relationship with God, the more prone I am to adopt a "why-not" attitude when tempted. Acts of kindness from God draw me toward Him. I am filled with gratefulness and hope. When temptation presents itself in at such a time, I am far less inclined to jeopardize the bliss of peace with God.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Meditation for a New Work Year
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul,. In you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.
When things are not right where do I turn for comfort and assurance. To what or whom do I look to express, "Hey, look what happened to me here?" It's natural to look to authorities and point out the inequities that distress me. It seems appealing to look to others who also may be discontent and seek commiseration. But no justice comes from human authorities or systems, and no wisdom comes from the company of the discontented. There is no help or comfort to be gotten there.
Thus, "To you O Lord I lift up my soul, in you I trust O my God."
It is in God that my prayer, "Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me," is poured out.
No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
When I flop down before God, and pour out my heart as a child to a father, the assurance that I have is, "No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame." I can rest now. Though the circumstances may still sting as long as they persist, my fears of utter destruction, of shame and humiliation are shown to be mere spasms of imagination. The reality is declared in the promise: No one whose hope is n you will ever be put to shame."
But they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
Another burden I do not need to carry in to this new school year is that of concern about the fate of others. The Lord will deal with the treacherous, in His time, in His way. I do not even know which people are really the "treacherous" ones. I am not the judge.
Which brings me to that with which I do have to concern myself, my own conduct. Have unpleasant circumstances come into my life from outside the purview of God? Hardly. He knows the path He has chosen for me. He is deliberate and purposeful. His purpose is good, His method perfect.
Job 23
Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.
When things are not right where do I turn for comfort and assurance. To what or whom do I look to express, "Hey, look what happened to me here?" It's natural to look to authorities and point out the inequities that distress me. It seems appealing to look to others who also may be discontent and seek commiseration. But no justice comes from human authorities or systems, and no wisdom comes from the company of the discontented. There is no help or comfort to be gotten there.
Thus, "To you O Lord I lift up my soul, in you I trust O my God."
It is in God that my prayer, "Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me," is poured out.
No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
When I flop down before God, and pour out my heart as a child to a father, the assurance that I have is, "No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame." I can rest now. Though the circumstances may still sting as long as they persist, my fears of utter destruction, of shame and humiliation are shown to be mere spasms of imagination. The reality is declared in the promise: No one whose hope is n you will ever be put to shame."
But they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
Another burden I do not need to carry in to this new school year is that of concern about the fate of others. The Lord will deal with the treacherous, in His time, in His way. I do not even know which people are really the "treacherous" ones. I am not the judge.
Which brings me to that with which I do have to concern myself, my own conduct. Have unpleasant circumstances come into my life from outside the purview of God? Hardly. He knows the path He has chosen for me. He is deliberate and purposeful. His purpose is good, His method perfect.
Job 23
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Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Object of Mercy
Romans 9:22,24
What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath – prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory – even us whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?
Today, cringing in anticipation of a lashing, I turned to the scripture reading for July 26. I'm a bit behind having determined to only open and read when I am open and listening. But again for the umpteenth time I was given a word that reinforced the theme of many of God's personal words to me this past twelve months.. "I love you because I love. You are righteous because I made you so."
Beginning with a time of confession this morning, all I could say is; "See! Nothing much has changed. What can I expect from You today? But where else can I go but to You? So, here I am. Please, extend your great mercy one more time and speak to me. I'm listening."
In response, through the reading from Romans 9:23 - 10:13, I was reminded that no finite collection of dust and water (mud) such as myself could ever exhaust the goodness and mercy of the infinite and gracious God.
Psalm 20:1-2
May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;..
May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.
What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath – prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory – even us whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?
Today, cringing in anticipation of a lashing, I turned to the scripture reading for July 26. I'm a bit behind having determined to only open and read when I am open and listening. But again for the umpteenth time I was given a word that reinforced the theme of many of God's personal words to me this past twelve months.. "I love you because I love. You are righteous because I made you so."
Beginning with a time of confession this morning, all I could say is; "See! Nothing much has changed. What can I expect from You today? But where else can I go but to You? So, here I am. Please, extend your great mercy one more time and speak to me. I'm listening."
In response, through the reading from Romans 9:23 - 10:13, I was reminded that no finite collection of dust and water (mud) such as myself could ever exhaust the goodness and mercy of the infinite and gracious God.
Psalm 20:1-2
May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;..
May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.
(Selah)
The Lord knows that the basic distress of all His saints results from our perception that, for whatever reason, we are about to be harmed and there is no hope of joy in the circumstance. This fearful perception comes from two sources, shame and fear. I believe I've screwed up, sinned, so badly that God's only wise choice is to let the hammer of natural consequence fall heavily upon me, and that the mal-intent of those around me is going to be unleashed to amplify that blow thus crushing me in humiliation.
But this morning's Word was an assurance that God will answer, send help, and remember my sacrifice (Jesus) and accept my burnt offerings (prayers of confession, and repentance).
The result will be a restoration of joy.
Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
He answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.
Psalm 20:6
The Lord knows that the basic distress of all His saints results from our perception that, for whatever reason, we are about to be harmed and there is no hope of joy in the circumstance. This fearful perception comes from two sources, shame and fear. I believe I've screwed up, sinned, so badly that God's only wise choice is to let the hammer of natural consequence fall heavily upon me, and that the mal-intent of those around me is going to be unleashed to amplify that blow thus crushing me in humiliation.
But this morning's Word was an assurance that God will answer, send help, and remember my sacrifice (Jesus) and accept my burnt offerings (prayers of confession, and repentance).
The result will be a restoration of joy.
Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
He answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.
Psalm 20:6
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